Therefore, as a man – especially a married man, I don’t just expect to think about sex however, I would like for intimacy to become a reality EVERYDAY in my marriage and more than once per day is simply heaven on earth. Reality sinks in that the honeymoon is OVER! So, now as a man with needs – sexual, emotional, mental, and spiritual - what do you do? Merely ‘go thru the motions’ of a passionless, mundane union just for ‘marriage’ sake? I don’t think so – especially with an ‘itch’ that needs scratching daily!!!Īccording to some research studies, men think about sex every seven seconds. Let’s keep it 1,000% - at some point in every relationship couples fall out of love. ‘If not, you may end up allowing expectation and disappointment to sour the good and then breaking up on unpleasant terms.7 Secrets To Ditch The 7-Year Itch Our Weddings Magazine | February/March - Men's Edition While this may result in an unpleasant realisation that you are not on the same page, it is always better to find out early so you can perhaps find a means of returning to or heading towards the same path. She says: ‘Have an open discussion about how you hope the relationship will progress. ‘When your partner does something nice, however small, try to acknowledge it and thank them there and then – if nothing else, the mechanics of conditioning mean that behaviour is more likely to happen again.’ Look ahead to your futureĭr Audrey Tang also suggests thinking about if you’re heading in the direction you both want. ‘Learning what else may be affecting your intimate moments can help you figure out solutions.’ Start with small changes She says: ‘If you’re experiencing other life stresses it can be easy to think it’s the relationship that’s declined – when, in fact, you have other worries on your mind. Ness adds that it’s important to take a moment to reflect on whether or not it’s the relationship that’s declined – or another area in your life. ‘It may take some time to get used to new routines, but scheduling in intimate moments can help some couples.’ Question whether it’s your relationship She adds: ‘We need to make sure we don’t forget the importance of making sure we change the routine of our sexual and bonding moments. Ness suggests coming up with new routines and rituals to help you bond – this can help make things feel new and exciting, even when everything else remains the same. ‘Even if it feels like a small change, whether that is in routine or even intimate jesters, if it’s playing on your mind you need to discuss it with your partner.’ ‘Communication is the starting point when people feel their relationship is declining over time – and the sooner the better,’ explains Ness. So what can couples do if they’re worried about the seven-year itch – or concerned they are feeling this way themselves?Įxperts have shared some things to try out and keep in mind. ‘It can be easy to say that couples should be prepared for anything, but times such as the recent pandemic may make lifestyle and romantic stresses more noticeable- and it can be easy to say it’s because a relationship has just reached that milestone, rather than looking deeper into resolutions.’ ‘But, it doesn’t make these factors on some relationships any less challenging, and over time they can build up if not dealt with between the couple when they arise. ‘We don’t have an in-built biological timer that turns on at the seven-year mark in a relationship. Ness adds: ‘For some individuals it can be that relationships do struggle over time, but often these are influenced by social-psychological factors such as new work structures, incomes, having children, and overall changes to routines they may have as a couple. Today, we still use the term to describe the time period when a person might grow tired, irritated or bored of their partner. ‘It’s likely that during that time, during the post-war world, relationships were going through some unpredictable challenges – due to the uncertainty that was left behind in areas of life, from such a joint trauma.’
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